Oslo, Norway Itinerary: Three Days of Things to Do
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Go to Oslo in spring or summer. In July, the sun sets around 10 or 11 p.m. You party in broad daylight. There are only five hours of darkness. It is really disorienting and exciting. Winter there is a nightmare, and I think everyone is so relieved when it’s over that they benefit greatly. I fly Norwegian Air from Los Angeles to Chicago, Chicago to Copenhagen, Copenhagen to Oslo. It is better to connect to Copenhagen than to Munich because it is a nicer airport. There is a smokehouse, which is really my favorite thing. So before the flight to Oslo, I smoke. It will be your last Parliament for some time to come. In Oslo they have really crappy, expensive cigarettes. From Gardermoen (Oslo Airport) you take the train for 22 minutes to Oslo Central Station. There are taxis right outside the station, but I usually walk because I want to smoke.
I like to stay near Vigeland Park in an Airbnb. It’s like staying in town, like when you go to the Upper East Side and feel like your lungs are fuller. Absolutely classy. The park is ideal for a morning run. I drop off my bags and immediately go to the REMA 1000. There are three major grocery chains. One is called Joker; that one sucks. It’s like 7-Eleven. REMA 1000 is a great grocery store and there is one where I stay. I get Wasa bread, cucumbers and cream cheese with garlic and chives; it’s the only thing I âcookâ when I’m in Norway. Return to the Airbnb, take a shower, and eat the provisions.
Not once in my life have I sat in a hotel room after moving to a new place. I am so excited to pretend to be a different person in a different life. I’m going to put on a nice t-shirt and a nice sweatshirt, which is really the vibe here. I always carry a canvas tote – no one wears nice handbags unless they’re Prada nylon handbags – and I take a small blanket or sweatshirt with it on. sit down to read in St. Hanshaugen Park. It’s a 40 minute walk from my house, but this is where I will be spending the rest of my day. I walk everywhere in Oslo. It is not very big and the weather is so beautiful. Have a coffee in Java (UllevÃ¥lsveien 47) at the entrance to the park, then spend some time reading in the park, which is truly lush; it feels like everything has been hydrated forever. There are kids running around with beautiful young parents, who just live a laid back existence. The park is also a great way to meet people. When I am traveling alone it is really important to step out of my comfort zone and approach someone. In Oslo, I can walk up to someone and ask, “Can I smoke a cigarette?” “Or” Where should I do my shopping? I met someone who became a good friend of mine in this park. It’s very social.
I like having lunch at Smalhans (UllevÃ¥lsveien 43), a five-minute walk from Java. It’s the only place where they don’t really speak English. There is no English menu. The way the menu works is that there is a special on Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays, and a few small platters. The menu is seasonal, and ordering three things is necessary as the plates are so small. I had a tuna tartare and a carpaccio. They also have good potatoes. You can eat on the street, which I love to do in a new place so that I can smoke and drink a Carlsberg-Ringnes. It’s probably their equivalent of a Coors Light, but I just think it’s the most delicious thing in the world. I miss it.
I inherited a habit from my mother, which is that no matter where you are, you have to go find your fellow Jews. I go to the synagogue in Oslo (Bergstien 13) and send pictures to my mom. At this point, I would generally go back to my Airbnb, but Vigeland is a long way off. The Litteraturhuset (Wergelandsveien 29) are those beautiful little libraries that surround the park. If I’m in a hurry, I put on makeup there. I always prepare my makeup bag. Then go to dinner at Izakaya (Saint-Olav Gate 7). It’s a 20 minute walk to the park. It’s a really sexy, dark, wooden place that feels like the start of a party. For a local this would still be considered a hidden gem. I order most of the menu. Stock up on steak and rice sticks and some really good kimchi, chicken bang bang and gyoza. You can not be wrong.
I’ve never been to Berlin, but that’s what I think it would be. Merkur Bar (Bjerregaards door 5A) has a beautiful tiled floor. The bathroom door looks like what would be on a boat. If you go to Merkur you will absolutely meet friends and if you don’t the bartender is more than willing to tell you where you can party with him afterwards. He’s a really nice guy. Merkur’s clientele are exciting, and as a single person it was a lovely place to go. It’s very small, so it’s not for the faint hearted. If you want to fit in and not be American, go to a bigger place like Oslovelo (Seilduksgata 23A) in Grünerløkka. But if you want to mingle and hang out on your own, this is a great place to go. They have a great selection of natural wines.
On the way back, right next to my Airbnb, there is a public swimming pool called Frognerbadet (Middelthuns door 28) which is open in summer. You need a key to get in, but I’m the kind of person who would wait outside that public pool and stalk the place until you see people doing it themselves. I really believe in the power of meeting foreigners in Oslo. I had this idea while watching Joachim Trier’s Oslo, August 31, then I did it myself.
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